Monodivergent

we made sense in Italy 

I still see glimpses of her when you’re in me 

a glass filled with only you and me 

top it off with something stronger 

maybe we 

maybe we can last longer 

the thing to make me love you only you

alludes me

I want to be content 

and I want to rampantly discover 

I want to suck the juice out of this life 

slowly turned to pulp

turn me inside out and still you’ll find 

deep sadness desire unwilling to thrive 

we discussed the rotting grapes in Tuscany 

or rather I noticed and you were silent 

our sounds resound but is that reflection 

or distant connection 

could I find more with someone else or is the way you twist to my kiss the only thing I need to feel 

half the time this doesn’t even feel real

you aren’t even the most of my concerns

I should be building the community for which I actually yearn 

much easier to make it our problem 

your problem mine 

later on down the line 

I’ll know the right answer 

and you’ll all be happy with those who could’ve been my sisters

me and my sisters we’ve always had trouble 

finding each other through these lonely puddles

I wish you’d shown me how to love with deepness

but you always told me to turn back to Jesus